Note: I create this page in retrospect, so there's a few things that I should remember that I don't, so please forgive me if you were there and remember it differently.  I guess forgetfulness kicks in early in my family or something...

Joseph and Melissa, myself, and ChiMy Birthday - June 11, 1999

I honestly forget the name of this restaurant -- I think it's Micheli's or something.  But it's the one on Lankershim next to Universal Studios where the waiters and waitresses sing.  This weekend I'll drive by just so I can put that question to rest -- and believe me, I honestly can't go to sleep sometimes because I can't remember things like this!  I had never been to that restaurant, but my friends kept telling me I should go there.  So it was a real treat when they invited me there for my birthday.

My family came to dinner, along with Joseph and Melissa, who got married recently; Chi, who also went to their wedding; Charo and Rosalyn, Joseph and Melissa's sisters; and Chi's roommate Alysha and her boyfriend John.  The food was great, and if you don't normally eat a lot, bring a friend and share, because they are big portions.  Even I didn't finish, and I usually do!  All throughout dinner, each of the waiters and waitresses got up to sing -- and these people can SING!  I think they're professionals that perform in musicals or something.

Afterwards, some of us went to the AMC Burbank, and we went to see Austin Powers 2.  As usual on a Friday night, it was crowded, so the show we had tickets for was past midnight.  We stopped by the local bookstore to kill the time.  I bought some books on tape; I travel a lot on business, so I listen to tapes while I'm flying -- usually I get the latest bestseller so I have something for a conversation piece, or leadership or inspirational tapes to pump myself up to get the job done.  Overall, I really enjoyed myself.

Reflection

Looking back at my life since then, well, I have a lot of things to see as major turning points in my life.  I graduated college.  I've had a successful career in computers.  I was engaged to be married but it was with the wrong girl, so I'm glad that I found that out before it went further.  Hmm, let's see... I'm still living at home, but I could say that I'm waiting to validate a rumor that my company is going to move the IT staff to another location.  I'm thinking of going back to school to get my MBA, but I don't think I can afford to be away from work that long.  I established an Engineering scholarship for Pilipinos at UCLA.  I just became debt-free, three months ahead of schedule, and now trying to rebuild my credit.  I've put on quite a bit of weight in the past couple of years, and I'm not seeing my doctor as much as I should.  I'm considering buying a home and taking up swing lessons again.  I don't feel old, but I don't feel young.

I guess I'm reaching mid-life?  College is no longer "the next step" for me.  Now it's finding that special someone, buying a home, raising a family.  Already considering if I'm putting enough money into my 401k, investment folders, and insurance policies (actually, I don't have a major insurance policy, but I do wonder if I should).  I keep asking myself, "Should I be thinking about this stuff now?  I'm 26!" 

I still get that feeling that I've had since I was very young.  Like I'm still missing something in life, as if something more was out there, that I am supposed to be doing something very important.  Gosh, if it were a couple of centuries ago, I would have packed my things, said goodbye to my family, and started on a quest to find it -- you know, like most of the long epics of journeys of great heroes start out.  Heroes -- now there's something this world needs a lot of.  I think I've always believed that I was destined to become a hero.  Don't get me wrong; I don't think my ego is that big -- but have you ever had the feeling that life was bigger than you, that your actions had a more profound effect on things than you realized?  I feel that all the time.  My boss tells me I'm not as confident as I should be when I act; that I actually know more than most people out there, that I should take charge more.  Well, if your actions had such ramifications, wouldn't you be cautious?

I guess right now, I'm at the transition stage of become a hero that leads, as opposed to being just a hero that acts.  My niece and nephew look up to me, as do my brother and sister and the rest of my family, each of them in their own unique way.  People at work look to me for guidance and direction, although half the time I wish they didn't.  It's not like I feel pressured to meet some high level of perfection; I just wonder if I'm doing the right thing.  More and more, the world is becoming nothing of what I imagined growing up, so you just have to ask if you're prepared enough to take on the world.

But yeah, this world does need heroes, and a lot of them.  I often think about how different my life would have been if I had more heroes around to guide me through my decisions, and then I try to imagine how it would have been if the heroes I did have were not there for me.  Sad thing about that -- I think it would have been exactly as it is today.  So I strive hard to be the hero that...God?... that I tell myself I am supposed to be.